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Getting To Commitment Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language, and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment issues or involved with someone who is.

He's Scared, She's Scared Available for the first time in paperback, this follow-up to the phenomenally successful Men Who Can't Love tackles the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom gained by personal experience, He's Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.

Men Who Can't Love This book saved me from going crazy and from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded just like the people in this book she'd read - "Men Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the same time.

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality This is a great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual to other are understandable and can be explained and treated.

Codependent, Codependency, and Codependence Articles

Codependency Impacts Our Spirituality
By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Unwittingly, Americans have gradually become more and more co-dependent since Franklin D. Roosevelt instituted the New Deal, the series of programs implemented between 1933-with the goal of relief, recovery and reform of the United States economy during the Great Depression. Instituted as a temporary measure the first ‘New Deal’ didn’t stimulate the economy as much as FDR had hoped or the people thought he could have delivered. FDR instituted the ‘Second New Deal’ in 1935—and thus, the codependency pattern was firmly established in the American psyche. Historians distinguish the "First New Deal" of 1933 that had something for almost every group, and the "Second New Deal" (1935-37) that introduced an element of class conflict. The opponents of the New Deal, complaining of the cost and the shift of power to Washington, stopped its expansion after Roosevelt was reelected in 1936, and managed to abolish many of its programs by 1943. The main programs still active today are Social Security the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Tennessee Valley Authority.

Co-dependency has become a way of life for the majority of people who compulsively demand the government provide a safety net for seemingly every conceivable life sustaining issue. In turn individuals have deferred to others in order to determine one’s thoughts, words, and actions instead of checking within one’s self to honor one’s feelings, one’s knowing and one’s sense of what’s appropriate. It is self-defeating to judge oneself for falling prey to this behavioral pattern, as our survival—being accepted in the national cultural, community or family system—seemed to depend upon it.

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The cost, nonetheless, to one’s integrity, wholeness and sense of spiritual connectedness has suffered as we continue to function co-dependently based on coping strategies that we were handed through a misinterpretation of the New Deal or born into.

Embracing and honoring the concept of self-reliance and self-determination is the only way a codependent person will change this self-crippling and self-defeating life style. The result of accepting and honoring the concept of self-reliance and self-determination might be a sense of emptiness or ‘hole inside’, but this can also be a key motivator in finding the strength within to create a sense of wholeness. Some will feel the emptiness or ‘hole inside’ and look for something outside—the antidotes of choice frequently are drugs, alcohol or food.

Honoring our feelings is key to recovery from codependency as well as in recovery from any addiction and self-defeating behavior. Although, we are not our feelings, our feelings show us who we are. Each feeling contains literal information regarding our true identity, what is important to us (and what is not) and what it is that we need to express and share with the world.

Each emotion is an expression of our Higher Power, or Spirit—our spiritual knowing and sense of connectedness to All That Is—expressing through different filters called emotions, informing us as to the unique aspect of the Spiritual being that we are. A vital aspect of recovery from codependence is in knowing and honoring our feelings, desires, ideas, opinions and expressing them in healthy ways. Although acting on our feelings may not be helpful in all situations, clean and healthy communication and expression of our feelings remains essential in recovery and in living life fully.

You are not here by mistake. You have something unique to share with the world. You are the creator that the Creator created. It is a great loss if you are not expressing your truth in the world. Are you willing to stand in your truth, take healthy risks, and express your feelings and heart’s desires openly and directly? Are you willing to allow your Spirit to express through you as you were created to do? Are you willing to embrace and honor self-reliance and self-determination? The reward for doing so is limitless wholeness and connectedness to All That Is.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, speaker specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up The essential female companion from the first moment he walks out of your life! The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up offers step-by-step advice for getting over him.

The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart Finally a book of poetry that describes every emotion you go through when you are in love and heart broken. This book is amazing and wonderful. I recommend it to who ever loves poetry and ever had a broken heart.

He's Just Not That Into You (The Newly Expanded Edition): The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys It seems like everywhere you turn the phrase "He's just not that into you" is being thrown around. And for good reason! The ladies are finally done waiting by the phone - hey, why sit at home for the phone to ring when it's so obvious that he's just not that into you?

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit? In easy psychological terms, this book helps a woman understand why a man may react negatively to her even when she feels she's doing everything right for a relationship. With different female personalities portrayed, the reader will find themselves fitting one or more of the profiles.

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